We'll Never be Ready
by avdubs
Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy agreed on one thing; they did not want kids. So what will they do when Hermione discovers she's pregnant? One-shot.


Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger had quite the perfect life, thank you very much. Hermione was a candidate for Minister of Magic, and Draco's Quidditch gear company was reaching an international level. They lived in a gorgeous pent house in London and were going on three years of marriage.

It had been about six years since the Battle of Hogwarts, which meant it had been six years since Draco decided to join their side during the battle. He had refused to leave and to his surprise, so did his parents. If he was staying, they were staying. The Malfoy family had worked incredibly hard to gain the trust of the Wizarding Community. Sadly, his parents passed just two years ago.

Draco started out working at the Ministry of Magic, where Hermione was employed at the time. And somehow, over the next three years, she had gone from disliking Draco to being irrevocably in love with him. Oh yes, and married. She was wary of him when he first started working there. Just because he helped their side in the war didn't mean he was going to treat her any better, or so she thought at the time. He had proved her wrong and slowly but surely, they fell in love.

None of their friends believed them at first. Maybe it was because they spent majority of their time arguing. Three years later, that was still sort of true. Except these days, there was one thing they absolutely agreed on. They did not want kids. At least not in this point of their lives. With his parents no longer alive, he felt no pressure to continue the Malfoy name. Hermione was never great with kids and didn't feel the need to have a child to complete her life with Malfoy.

But when Hermione awoke for the tenth morning in a row with an upset stomach and a need to vomit, she raced to the local drugstore with tears in her eyes and shaking hands to buy a pregnancy test. She hoped it wasn't positive. It _couldn't _be positive.

Luckily Draco was off at business meetings all day and Hermione didn't have any Wizengamot meetings until later. She had the flat to herself, and while she was thankful for the privacy, she almost wished her husband was home to console her if that little pink plus sign showed up.

She walked into their bathroom with her heart pounding in her chest and shut the door behind her. She inhaled one deep breath and gathered her hair into a messy bun at the back of her head. Feeling slightly awkward and utterly terrified, Hermione withdrew the sticks from its box and sat down to pee.

It had been difficult, consuming enough liquid in a short period of time but she managed it. Once she was done, she set the test on the counter of their sink and waited. This was going to be the longest three minutes of her life.

It's not that they hated kids or thought having kids would ruin their lives, it's just that they felt they were too young right now and their careers were much too hectic. Their life had become a whirlwind of business trips, interviews, press conferences, and planning Hermione's campaign.

When the three minutes were up, Hermione rose on shaky legs and flipped over the stick. Tears began streaming down her face as she stared down at the little pink plus sign.

* * *

Hermione found it very hard to focus during her meetings that day. She had sent an owl to Draco telling him they needed to talk that night. She wasn't sure if he had noticed her new morning ritual of retching in their bathroom, but if he did he hadn't said anything yet.

Harry kept pestering her in the halls of the Ministry whenever he saw her.

"I know you, Hermione. You're not alright." he had said, begging her to tell him what was wrong.

But she refused to tell anyone until she told Draco. The weight of her secret was practically crushing her by the end of her day.

When she got home that night, all the lights were still out. Draco wasn't home yet. She sighed, wanting to cry, but she forced her tears to stay put. She wanted to hold it together when she told him. She wanted to be strong.

After making a cup of tea, she decided to change into her pajamas and curl up on the couch. She put on a mindless muggle show she could easily get lost in and tried her best to push the image of that little pink plus sign out of her mind.

When she heard the front door open and her husband's footfalls on their wooden floors, her body stiffened and she braced herself for the news she had to deliver.

"Hi, love. I got takeout, I hope that's alright." he called from the kitchen.

Hermione groaned as the smell of chinese food wafted into the living room and a wave of nausea hit her stomach. She got up from the couch and went to the kitchen. Draco's back was facing her as he fished out plates for the two of them.

"Draco." she choked out. Bile was beginning to rise in her throat.

He turned to face her, eyebrow cocked and immediately frowned when he met her gaze. She absolutely hated that she was so easy to read; one look at her face and he knew something was wrong. Draco closed the distance between him and his wife with a few long strides and placed his hands on her arms hanging limp at her sides.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She let out the beginning of a sob and moved to wipe away the tears that slipped down her cheeks, but Draco beat her to it. She felt her heart breaking as his fingertips gently wiped at her cheeks.

"Draco, I'm pregnant."

* * *

Draco came home from work one Friday night, about a week after his wife had told him she was pregnant, to Hermione sitting on their couch, staring at her stomach. Hesitantly, he sat down beside her. He couldn't read the expression on her face, a first time for everything.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.

Hermione didn't answer at first. She simply stared at her stomach as her delicate fingers ran over her cotton t-shirt.

"I just can't believe there's a life growing in there..." she whispered painfully.

After she had told Draco she was pregnant, they sat down and had a long talk about their options. At first she had been mortified at his suggestion of abortion, and shocked that _he _was the one to suggest it, but after exploring the option some more, she felt it was the right choice. Draco hadn't pushed her into it, in fact he didn't even seem so sure about that option either. But it was the decision they made, and tomorrow they would be going to the clinic.

"Hermione..." he started.

"I'm not getting attached. It's not even the size of a grape yet." she murmured reassuringly.

She had done tons of research of course.

Her husband sighed and kissed her cheeks as she sat staring at her stomach.

"Come on, let's go have a bath and then go to bed. We have an early day tomorrow." his tone was grim.

Neither of them were excited to have an abortion, but like they had been telling themselves for the past week, they were making the right decision.

* * *

The next morning, Hermione sat at their breakfast table, trembling. She stared down at her toast with disgust. _Great_, she thought. _I can't even stand the sight of toasted bread. _Part of her was happy to be going to the clinic today. This pregnancy had completely screwed up her stomach, she had been crying at everything lately and the Ministry hadn't been too pleased at all the sick days she had taken in a week. She wanted her life back.

Draco wanted to take the train but Hermione stamped out that idea with "Then you can clean up my vomit" and Draco had wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Alright fine," he snapped. "We'll take the car."

Hermione didn't talk the entire way to the clinic. She just stared out the window, her mind numb as the trees blended together and the sky became a whirlwind of pinks and oranges. Draco would look over at her every few seconds, his stomach queasy with worry.

They pulled into the parking lot and when they were parked, Draco shut off the car and sat with his hands limp in his lap. Hermione's eyes were glued to the clinic's front doors, their giant sign hanging above.

"I can't do this." she whispered.

He looked over at her to find her cheeks stained with fresh tears and her bottom lip trembling. She squeezed her eyes shut and her hands rested gently over her stomach.

He nodded. A wave of relief washed over him. It was strange. He hadn't expected to feel this way. It hadn't seemed so wrong in theory, but sitting here now...it just didn't feel right.

"I know, Hermione. It's okay." he brushed his lips against the back of her hand. "We'll figure this out."

She looked at him then, hoping he could feel the gratitude she felt in this moment. The sun was illuminating his platinum blonde hair and she mustered a smile as she brushed away the hair falling over his eyes.

"I love you." she croaked.

"I love you too, Hermione." he murmured before kissing her forehead.

She suddenly felt very sleepy so she leaned her head against the window. Draco placed his hand in her lap and reached for her hand. She laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand. Her fingers fell limp in his as she drifted off to sleep. He couldn't even be bothered to wake her when they arrived home and carried her to their couch.

* * *

It had been two months since she found out she was six weeks pregnant; they did go to the doctor to find out how far along she was.

Sometimes they would just lay in bed together at night or in the mornings and stare at her stomach as they tried to wrap their heads around the fact that they had a life growing inside of her. Hermione had immediately bought books on pregnancy and received plenty of pamphlets from her doctor along with a list of vitamins she would need, though she only went shopping at odd times of night when the stores were mostly empty.

It felt strange buying all those things. Attempting to prepare for something they didn't feel ready for.

"What about adoption?" Draco proposed as they sat on the couch on night, drinking tea and reading.

Hermione paused in her reading, looking at him with intrigue. She pondered the idea for a moment and Draco swore he could see the gears in her brain turning.

"I need to think about it." she responded.

"We could have an open adoption."

"Draco," she said sharply. "No matter what we decide, it's a big decision. I'm not rushing into it. I think we learned our lesson on that."

She had a point.

* * *

Her baby bump started coming in around four months and she cried in the privacy of their bathroom while Draco snored on, oblivious to her cries. It was becoming more real, that either way, whether they decided to put their baby up for adoption or not, she was going to give birth to a child. Her doctor had asked her multiple times by now if she wanted a picture of the ultrasound and each time she said no.

She loved her unborn child, she really did, but this entire experience was scary and overwhelming. Draco had been wonderful dealing with her random mood swings and odd cravings, which had only been going on for a few weeks. She was tired all the time now, and her work was suffering.

Draco nudged her awake on Tuesday morning, already dressed and ready for work.

"Hermione," he whispered gently. "You have a meeting today, you need to get up."

His wife groaned into her pillow and rolled over.

"Hermione." he said again, more firmly this time.

At this, Hermione sat up, glaring down at her stomach. "I hate this sometimes."

He kissed her on the head and brushed her hair away from her face. "I know, love."

* * *

A little over a month later Hermione jolted awake when she felt something kick her stomach. She lay there, wide eyed and heart pounding and then it happened again. She gasped when she realized it was coming from her stomach. The baby was kicking.

"Draco! Draco!" she said urgently, shaking him violently.

Draco shot up, looking around wildly until he locked his gaze on hers. His eyes were wide with panic. "What is it? What's wrong?"

But she was calm, at least she appeared so on the outside. Her hand was resting on her slightly bulging stomach. "The baby moved."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

She nodded before grabbing his hand and placing it where her hand had just been. He only had to wait a few seconds before he felt the kick against the palm of his hand and he felt his heart swell. Hermione was quiet for several minutes before she looked up at him, her eyes burning with intensity.

"I want to keep the baby." she said flatly.

Draco hugged her tight then. He buried his face into her hair and smiled.

"So do I."

* * *

Hermione finally talked to Kingsley and told him about her pregnancy. She asked him not to say anything to Ron or Harry yet, as she was going to tell them that night. She would be doing that at dinner tonight at the Burrow.

Her stomach was slightly larger now and she had back pain almost all the time. Draco would snigger when she waddled slightly but she always shot him a lethal look. At least he made up for it on the mornings when she felt took sick to get out of bed. Some days their new reality hit her hard and she'd lock herself in the bathroom to cry, and sometimes Draco would hold her extra tight at night as her sobs slowed.

"I'm scared." she muttered as they walked down the dirt path to the Burrow.

Her husband couldn't help but laugh. "You know the Weasleys are going to be excited. Especially Molly."

Hermione stopped in her tracks. She shook her head and she looked like she was ready to cry.

"No. Draco, I'm scared about this entire thing." she said in a hushed tone and pointed to her bulging stomach.

His expression softened and he stepped forward to embrace her. "You're not going through this alone, love. I'm scared too."

She sniffled and drew back to look up at him. He stared down into her watery brown eyes as he rubbed her shoulders.

"Hermione there's seven people in that house who are going to be there for us." he reminded her.

She took a deep breath and wiped away the stray tears. "Okay, let's go."

They continue down the path with their hands gripped together. She couldn't tell which one of them was sweating profusely. Molly greeted them just as they got to the door and it took her a few seconds to take notice to Hermione's stomach.

"Oh, Hermione!" she cried and threw her arms around the young witch's neck.

Arthur and Ron appeared the door with questioning looks and when Molly released her, their mouths fell open.

"Hermione! I didn't know-" Ron started to say.

"I'm sorry, Ron. I've avoided you and-"

"Congratulations." the red head said with a big grin on his face.

* * *

Hermione sat with Harry later that same evening, her head resting on his shoulder.

"The last time we sat like this I was crying over Ron and Lavender." she said, glancing up at the stars twinkling against the velvet black sky.

Harry laughed and rubbed her arm reassuringly.

"I'm scared, Harry." she admitted. It felt good to say it to someone else other than Draco.

He had heard it enough and she feared he was getting tired of it. But it was the truth and her fear was only growing as her due date inched closer.

"What if we're not good parents? I don't know the first thing about becoming a mum." Hermione said seriously.

Harry frowned at her then. "Hermione, you and Malfoy are going to be great parents."

"Besides," he said as he glanced back into the house where his own son was watching George make sparks fly out of the end of his wand. "It sort of...comes naturally, most stuff. And having someone by your side makes easier."

Hermione smiled as she watched him admire Ginny feeding their sixth month old son. She wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and hugged him tight. Merlin she was lucky to have him as a best friend.

* * *

They were on their way to the doctor for another ultrasound. Hermione was rubbing her stomach and staring off into space. This was the first time she was completely calm heading in to the clinic and Draco wanted to tell her how proud he was of her.

The doctor came out and lead them to an examination room where Hermione immediately shut the curtain and changed into the robe.

When the doctor was performing the ultrasound he asked them the same question he asked them every time they came for one.

"Do you want a copy of the ultrasound?"

"Yes." Hermione answered immediately.

Draco looked at her in surprise but smiled and kissed her hand.

Before they went to bed that evening, Hermione propped up the ultrasound against a picture of her and Draco at a beach one summer. She stared at it until she fell asleep.

* * *

Draco had been oddly strong for the past seven and a half months, so it was a bit of a surprise when Hermione woke one Sunday morning to Draco staring at the ultrasound, sitting on the edge of their bed. She propped herself up and stroked his bare back.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

"Hermione what if I'm not a good father? What if I end up like-"

"Draco Malfoy, you stop it right now. You won't be anything like your father. And besides, your father was decent towards the end." she said sharply, poking him with all her might.

She then scooted forward and wrapped an arm around her stomach. She peppered kisses along his shoulder before resting her chin there.

"If you show our baby as much love and support as you show me, she'll be just fine." she reassured with a smile.

It felt odd, being the strong one. Normally it was Draco consoling her.

"Did you say she?" he asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Oh my god...Oh Draco, I'm so sorry! I...it was keeping me up one night after we went to the doctor and I called first thing the next morning and oh Merlin, I'm so sorry." she gushed.

He let out a laugh before wrapping her in his arms.

"We're having a baby girl." he said in disbelief.

"Yeah," she laughed. "We are."

* * *

She was eight months pregnant now and was currently in a fit of hysteria because they had put off turning their spare room into a nursery. So upon her demand, Draco flooed the Weasleys to ask for extra help. Ginny, Harry, Molly, and Arthur joined Hermione in shopping for furniture and decorations while Draco went with Fred, George and Ron to pick out paint.

It was quite a busy day but Hermione had to admit, it was a nice feeling being in a room full of people who had proven they were ready to help the couple whenever they needed it.

Hermione smiled at Draco as they prepared the walls for painting and the look he gave her made her stomach fill with butterflies. It was the first time she had felt this calm in months.

* * *

"My due date is three weeks away." she said numbly as they lounged on the couch, a bowl of popcorn perched on her stomach.

Draco crinkled his nose. "Isn't there...other stuff that comes out?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes. The placenta." she said with a shutter.

"Draco what if something goes wrong?" she asked nervously.

She felt his arms tighten around her with his hands settling on the sides of her stomach. He didn't answer for a moment and she could feel his chest move up and down as he gathered his thoughts.

"Perhaps it's best if we don't think about that. Besides, I'm sure the hospital staff will know what to do. And I'll be there."

She smiled meekly but said nothing. Three weeks seemed like a day at this point.

* * *

"Draco! Draco!" Hermione shrieked in fear in the middle of the night. "Draco it's happening!"

The sheets were becoming soaked as Hermione lay there, feeling her water break. Panic was rising inside her as her husband slowly stirred awake. After one howl of pain, he was up and alert.

"Shit!" Draco jumped out of bed and grabbed the bags they had packed days ago. "Okay, love, ready?"

Hermione glared at him as the contraction came to end. She grabbed him by his t-shirt until his face was inches from hers. "Take me to the hospital. Now."

* * *

She was laying in the hospital bed, her legs in stirrups and a doctor between her legs. Draco was standing next to her, looking as pale as she had ever seen him, clutching her hand.

"I can't do this." she whimpered.

He felt sick to his stomach and his heart was pounding, but he needed to be strong for his wife right now. She looked at him with terror written all over her face.

"Yes you can." he promised, pressing his forehead against hers. "Hermione you are the strongest woman I know. You can do this."

Godric, she loved him so much.

"Okay, Hermione, are you ready? I'm going to have you start pushing in a minute." the doctor told her.

Hermione looked up at Draco and when he nodded she turned back to face the doctor with a determined look on her face.

"I'm ready."

"Push in three...two...one." the doctor ordered and Hermione winced as she felt the doctor's fingers near her opening.

She tried not to think about the fact that she was exposed in front of this team of doctors and nurses and instead focused all of her thoughts on getting this baby out. She could do this. She beat a complex logic puzzle when she was eleven. She brewed a complicated, advanced potion illegally at the age of twelve. She helped develop a secret D.A.D.A group in her fifth year. She fought in the Final Battle and traveled cross country helping to defeat the greatest, most feared Dark Wizard in all of history. She could give birth to a baby.

"You're doing great, love." her husband whispered in encouragement.

She growled and pushed with all of her might. A thin sheet of sweat was forming on her forehead and she noticed Draco was wincing from the amount of pressure she was putting on his hand. But Merlin this hurt, and it felt like she was getting nowhere. The doctor couldn't see the baby yet. She was tired and sweaty and she just wanted to stop.

"I'm not ready for this." she cried.

The doctor told her to push again and Draco was pushing the hair away from her face. "Neither am I, love. But she's almost here, and we have each other."

Hermione let out a scream as she pushed again. Her head collapsed back on to the pillow, her chest was heaving up and down. She wanted this to be over. Draco was continuously muttering words of encouragement into her ear.

"If you don't shut up in the next three seconds, I will hex you as soon as this baby is out." she warned, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Okay, Hermione, I need you to give me one long, final push. Can you do that?" The doctor asked, her voice muffled through her mask.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" she snapped irritably.

She heard the doctor chuckle and Hermione wanted to strangle her. She braced herself to push once more and didn't care how ear splitting her howls were as she gripped the sides of the bed.

"There you go...keep pushing! She's coming! Good, Hermione, good! One more little one and..." The Doctor paused for a moment before holding up a tiny body screaming even louder than Hermione had just been.

She thought she would cringe at the sound, but she found that all she wanted to do was hold her newborn daughter.

"Congratulations on a baby girl Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy." The Doctor said, holding their daughter for the couple to see.

Draco choked on a sob at the sight of his bloody covered, wailing daughter. He rested his head against Hermione's, who had her head resting against the pillow with her eyes shut. She had done it. She got through labor without complications and her daughter was finally out.

After their daughter was cleaned and wrapped in a blanket, a nurse placed the baby in Hermione's arms. She was staring up at them with big, round silver eyes. Draco brushed his finger over her squishy nose and smiled to himself. They had a baby, a daughter. He was a _father _now. Hermione simply stared at their daughter thinking that she had never seen a more beautiful person in her entire life and she thought her heart might explode with the amount of love that was pumping through it. She didn't know it was possible to love someone this much.

"I love you." her husband whispered to her.

"I love you too." she replied softly.

"Have you two thought about what you want to name her?" the doctor asked.

"Luciana." the new parents said in unison.

The doctor nodded and walked away.

"Welcome to the world, Luci." Hermione whispered as she ran a finger over her daughter's cheek.

* * *

They had only been home with Luci for four days and Hermione had already had a breakdown. Draco had his first traumatic experience with a rather stinky diaper and both were extremely deprived of sleep.

"Why did we decide to do this?" she asked him that night after Luci had finally fallen asleep. "We can't handle this."

"Hermione," he said sternly. "All new parents go through this in the beginning. We'll get used to it. It's just going to take some time."

She shot him a wounded expression as she fiddled with her fingers. "Don't you still worry you're not a good parent?"

He barked out a laugh, sat down next to her and took his hands in hers. "I have that thought every day. But Luci still needs us, and we have to try our best for her."

It was moments like these when she felt so lucky to have him.

* * *

It was the day of Luci's first birthday party and Draco was more of a mess than Hermione was. Planning usually kept her thoughts appropriately preoccupied and today it was just the distraction she needed. Draco merely sat on the living room floor as their daughter waddled around, cooing and shrieking.

Draco tugged on her arm when she passed by to set out snacks on the table. She sat down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"She's only getting older." he said flatly. "I'm not ready for this."

"Neither am I." she sighed.

* * *

They ran through Kings Cross with Luci barreling ahead of them.

"Mum! I want to get a seat with James!" her daughter shouted.

Draco suppressed a smile as they approached the platform. He took his daughter's and wife's hands in his before they crossed through the barrier together. The red steam engine appeared in front of them and Hermione couldn't help but smile at the look of wonder on her daughter's face.

They tracked down James, Albus, Harry and Ginny. Of course Molly and Arthur were there as well. Albus and Luci were chatting animatedly as their hauled their trunks on to the train.

When the clock struck three minutes until eleven, the three children were ushered onto the train with last minute 'I love you's' and 'Write me when you can's'. Draco wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders as the train began to move. Luci waved at her parent's furiously, with brown curls framing her round face.

"I'm not ready for this." Draco said.

"Neither am I, but she is."

* * *

Draco frowned as Luci checked her hair in the mirror for the tenth time and fixed her dress. Hermione shot her husband a disapproving look while she set the table for dinner. The doorbell rang and Luci screeched that she would get it.

"She's too young." he said unhappily.

Hermione rolled her eyes before wrapping her arms around her husband's neck. She kissed along his jawline and hummed in content.

"Bollocks. She's sixteen. You were dating when you were younger than her. Besides, I trust her judgment." his wife mused.

Draco looked over to find his daughter's boyfriend whispering in her ear. Where had the past sixteen years gone?

"I don't like this. I'm not ready for this." he complained.

His wife laughed and kissed the top of his head. "We don't have much of a choice, love."

* * *

Her graduation had reduced both of her parents to tears. They had practically crushed her lungs when they hugged her and kissed her one too many times. They showered her with gifts and took her out for her favorite meal.

Today, they stood in her empty bedroom.

"Are you ready?" her mum asked with a shaky voice.

"Yes, mum." Luci replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

She was moving out today and she really couldn't blame her parents for being emotional. Her father hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head repeatedly.

"Dad." she groaned.

"Sorry, sorry." he mumbled, releasing his daughter.

He stared down at her, light eyes contrasting beautifully with her dark chocolate curls. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat as he brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. Luci smiled sheepishly, casting her eyes to the floor.

"I love you."

This time she pulled him in for a hug.

"I love you too, sweetheart." he replied solemnly.

Luci moved on to her mom, allowing Hermione to hold her tightly to her chest for as long as she wanted. This would be the last day her parents would see her for, well, she didn't really know how long. Hermione choked back a sob as she told her daughter that she loved her too.

Luci wiped away the tears that had slid down her cheeks before she disappeared into thin air.

Hermione fell against Draco's chest, letting her tears flow freely now. Draco was squeezing her tightly, rubbing her arm in slow circles.

"I'm not ready." he heard her say.

"I don't think we'll ever be, love."

* * *

A/N: Let me know what you think with a review! This idea came to me a few days ago and I've been so busy with work and other things that it took longer to write than I would have liked, but here it is! I'm pretty proud of this so hopefully you guys like it!

Luciana means light, by the way.


End file.
